Foster Youth & Loyalty
When an unannounced check-in puts siblings and family reunification at risk.
I hope 2025 is off to a good start for you. As I said in my previous post, I’m beginning a writing project this year. This post revisits an experience while working within the State of Nebraska’s foster care system. A check-in with siblings turns into something more when I see their parent violating a court order.
I’ve written before about my time working for Saint Francis Ministries and I want to keep adding to the posts. I think it’s important for people to know what it’s like within the state’s foster care system.
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In this post
A Foster Youth Check-In
Aftermath
More Foster Care Story Links & Life Updates
A Foster Youth Check-In
I am asked to do an unannounced check-in on a group of siblings. It’s not a case I normally work on, but I have worked with the siblings in the past. I have transported the siblings before, and helped them move to their current placement. One time, I even picked up marijuana from a foster parent that was found on one of the siblings and transported it back to the office. I am known by the siblings.
The Case Manager’s (CM) workload prevents them from going by on this day. School has been out since the pandemic started, and everyone in child welfare is still trying to figure out how to do the job well amidst a pandemic. I have been working at the organization for over four months now. Most of it has been spent in training or working remotely due to the pandemic.
The hope is sending me out to do the check-in will keep things relaxed for the siblings and they’ll talk a bit more. Sometimes clients will open up more with someone who isn’t the CM on the case. When a CM really has to hold a family accountable with a court order, it can making forming a relationship with the youth that much more difficult.
The check-in figures to be a quick trip. I drive over to the house and park down the street from it. I text the CM to let them know I’m getting ready to do the check-in when I see a SUV pull into the driveway. The biological parent gets out of the driver’s side, and one of the siblings comes out the other side. They walk inside the foster parents house together.
The biological parents are not supposed to have unsupervised visits with the kids in this case, and not at the foster parents home. I start calling and texting the CM as to how I should proceed. A quick group call happens where the CM and our Supervisor are in disbelief by the parent’s brazenness to violate court orders on them. “(The parent) is there now?!”
There is a history of volatility with the family, so I’m asked if I’m comfortable doing the check-in still. I am. I can’t recall exactly how this came to be, but I hold my work phone against some paperwork so I can record the entire interaction.
As I walk up to the home I record the make and model of the vehicle. There are no license plates on it. I’m sure I’m noticed as I walk up to the house and knock on the door. One of the siblings greets me. They are a teenager. They come outside and stand in front of the storm door. They are visibly nervous. I try to put them at ease as I talk to them, but it doesn’t matter what I say or do. They know what’s on the line with me being there and the parent being inside when they shouldn’t be.
I share that I am just checking in to see how they are all doing. They ask if I want to see another sibling, and I say I’d like to. They call out a sibling who comes outside and sits down. They don’t say much. I ask about another sibling, but they say they went with the foster parent somewhere.
I see an adult figure moving inside the house, but they are in the shadows. I say how I see someone inside, and without skipping a beat they say it’s a “cat”. It takes a lot within me not to smirk, but I see it in the sibling’s face how uncomfortable and anxious they are. I don’t press it with them because they shouldn’t have to be caught in the middle of this situation. I hear a sound as well, but don’t address it with them.
I finish up the check-in and walk back to the car. The entire interaction is not even five minutes long. I call my CM and relay everything that just happened. As I’m talking to them I see the parent come out from behind the row of houses, walking on the sidewalk, at the top of the street. They walk down to their vehicle, get into it, and drive away. I give a play-by-play of what the parent is doing while on the call. The CM is incredulous and acknowledges how this complicates the case. Any reunification talk is now delayed with a blatant court order violation.
The siblings come out of the house and are biking on the street. They come up to my car and ask what I’m doing. I tell them I’m talking to their Case Manager, giving an update with how they are doing. They keep biking on the street, but are also keeping tabs on me. I leave and wave to the siblings.
Back at the office the CM and my Supervisor want to hear details. They are still shaking their heads at what the parent did and the timing of how everything worked out. They know some parents, and in particular this parent, will try and see their kids regardless of what the court order might say. It’s hard to catch them in the act, and the kid(s) will often not be forthcoming about it. The coincidence of pulling up a few minutes before the parent and witnessing all they do is helpful with the case. We want reunification for the family, but we also want what’s best to support everyone throughout the process toward reunification. Forcing kids to lie and cover for the parents in violation of a court order is something a judge in the juvenile system does not like.
The CM has worked a lot with these kids. However, they are also the sixth CM on the case over a twelve month period and they have been on the case the longest. It’s one of the many cases that got lost in the shuffle when managing child welfare in the state transferred from PromiseShip to Saint Francis at the end of 2019. CMs cycled through a number of cases and families were left in the lurch.
Word has spread amongst the staff in our area about what transpired at the check-in. When I get back to my team’s area people want to hear about it. CMs are chuckling at the audacity and slapstick nature of the parent. A number of the staff congratulate me on a job well done, keeping a level head in that situation, and a few of them no longer call me the “new guy”.
Aftermath
The parent denies being at the house and/or leaving out the back of the house. The siblings tell the CM there is no back door for anyone to leave. I go back to the area and see how the backside of the property is up against a business property that looks over it. I drive to the business’ parking lot, park, and start walking around. I’m able to look down on the home. There is no back door, but there is a window big enough for an adult to go through. The foster home’s back window screen is broken off and laying on the ground. I take pictures showing the window, window screen, and the path the parent would’ve taken to come around like I witnessed.
A week later I am asked to fill out an affidavit detailing what happened. There is a possibility I will testify in court about this, but it never happens. The video footage I captured shows enough to support what I detail in the affidavit. The footage is given to the necessary people handling the case.
My experience in this situation shows I can handle the various situations that come up within our work. Soon after, I will be asked to help with a child removal.
During the year I will help these siblings move multiple times. One of them I help move four times within a nine month period. Think about how that might affect you if you were in the foster care system. The CM I worked with on the case oversaw it the longest, but again they were the sixth CM within a one year period. The case would be transferred to a new CM a few months later because of the CM carrying too many cases in violation of state law. (A constant issue with Saint Francis Ministries and managing cases.) How might all the CM transfers affect the youth? It’s no wonder why foster youth will protect their biological parents because despite what the youth have endured, the parents are more of a constant than the turnover of case managers.
In the beginning the siblings had been friendly toward me, but over the course of twelve months they become distant. I understand why despite my efforts.
Every so often I look up clients and youth online to see how they are doing. I see one of the older siblings, who had been housed at the Youth Rehabilitation and Treatment Center (YRTC) in Kearney, has been arrested for assault. The news stories don’t know or don’t write about the family history.
Life Updates & Foster Care Story Links
This the fifth post I’ve written regarding my experience within Nebraska’s foster care system. When I worked for Saint Francis Ministries in 2020 and 2021 they had the state contract to manage child welfare in the Omaha area. The State of Nebraska cancelled its contract with Saint Francis at the end of 2021 because of how egregiously bad they were in fulfilling the contract. Previous posts are:
Thinking About Work Life Balance When Removing A Child From A Home
Bringing Your Best When Your Client Brings Their Best And Worst
As I go through my 2020 and 2021 journals, and my work notes, I realize there are more stories to tell about the Nebraska foster care system.
Thank you for reading these posts. And thank you for your continued support. We are continuing to fundraise toward a new vehicle. Click here to go to our GoFundMe page to donate. In the coming weeks I will start back with Burke High and the track and field program. To follow along you can subscribe to my Burke Distance Running Substack.